A plan gone horribly wrong
by atakino-zane
Summary: Sakura devises a plan to get Sasuke involving a love potion. However, things go horribly wrong.... Warning: silliness ahoy. Possibility of dirty jokes.
1. Chapter 1: The plan

**Ridiculous, but apparently needed, Statement of the obvious**: I don't own Naruto. Obviously. This should be assumed, as this is on a site for **fan** fictions. But apparently it needs to be stated. T..T (dumbass glare smiley)

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Sakura smiled evily as she held a mysterious vial in her hand. The liquid inside was tinged a redish purple, not unlike the colour of blood, and fizzing. It was a so called love potion, the recipe for which she had taken from Tsunade.

She jumped over the fence between women's and men's hotspring and snuck behind a bush.

_Cha!!!_ Roared inner Sakura. _With this, Sasuke can't deny me!_

She giggled mercilessly as she poured it into the water, where Sasuke was headed. All it needed was one touch….. well, you get the idea. She'd added the special touch needed to make sure that it would be her that he fell in love with; a small lock of her hair. The vial was empty, although still stained with the red potion.

Suddenly, Sakura heard voices. She jumped, afraid, and left the hot springs. In the morning, she would see the fruit of her painstaking labour.

Day dawned on the leafy village. Sakura ducked into go meet her team early that morning, and slipped on her sandals with renewed, care free vigor. As she left, she was whistling cheerily.

Soon, a familiar voice spoke to her.

"Good morning Sakura-chan! Wanna go on a –"

"No," she said simply, cutting off Naruto. Same old, same old. He just never gave up, did he?

She kept walking, and he followed her, pleading.

"Please?"

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

"Please?"

My, how the blonde kid was persistent that day. "Yes."

"Really?"

"No! Shut up, baka. I said no several times already. Just give up."

"Hmph," he sighed, defeated.

Soon they were at the training grounds. Surprisingly, Kakashi was waiting for her.

"Good morning, you two; I see you've found her! You're looking quite nice this morning, Sakura!"

"Uh…. Thanks, sensei…" That was confusing. She ignored it, though. Kakashi could be quirky at times, anyway.

There was a brief pause.

"So where's Sasuke?"

"Who cares?" shot Naruto quickly.

She glared at Naruto, "You mean, who care's about you!" And she stuck her tongue out at him.

"Is that some sort of invitation, Sakura-chan?" he said naughtily.

She growled and punched him a good one. "Pervert! I knew it was a bad idea for you to train under Jiraiya!"

Giving up, she stomped away. However, not fast enough to hear Kakashi say to a bruised Naruto:  
"It was worth the try..."

_There is something seriously wrong here!_

Well, here's chapter one…. Just getting started on something silly…. I'll edit this later, maybe, but I'm keeping this chapter short because it's kinda an intro… :P Meh. Randomness anyway.


	2. Chapter 2: Realization

The streets seemed oddly silent as Sakura walked their lengths, heading away from the strange events in the training grounds. _Stupid Naruto…_ She thought angrily as her sandals stomped the ground. _And what was with Kakashi-Sensei?_

Up ahead, she saw Ino and her team. Shikamaru and Chouji seemed to have just finished a team meal and lingered behind, while Asuma and Ino had ditched them, Ino to find Sasuke (_Good luck, Inopig!_) and Asuma to do… whatever it was Asuma did.

Shikamaru spotted her and, strangely, he waved enthusiastically.

"Hey, Sakura-Chan!"

"Hi," she said cautiously as she passed. Shikamaru had an unusual amount of energy, it seemed. Oh well…. Maybe they'd unloaded a bunch of sugar on him. "Have either of you seen Sasuke?"

Shikamaru shook his head.

"Don't waste your time on that loser," said Chouji. He was just finishing off a bag of chips. He held out the bag. "Want a chip?"

"Uh…. No thanks." _That's really, really weird._ Chouji looked sad.

"I know it's troublesome, but," began Shikamaru, "You wanna do something later?"

_What. The. Hell?_ "No… I have plans." She began to back away. _What's going on with these two?_

"Hey, I was gonna ask her out!" Said Chouji, angrily.

"Aww, she'd never date you. You're too fat."

"I AM NOT FAT! I'M PLEASANTLY PLUMP!"

Sakura backed away, afraid. Where did that come from?

Not taking her eyes off of the pair, she kept backing away until she was in an alley way. Suddenly, she collided with something. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw a green jumpsuit.

She sighed. "Hi, Lee-san." _As weird as he is, him hitting on me is normal._

"Wrong," came the manly reply. She turned around to find Maito Gai behind her, grinning. "But of course, it is easy to mistake my youthful self for my lovable youthful student!"

"Uh…. Right…."_ Just going to pretend that I didn't hear that…_ She began to walk around her, but he stopped her.

"Say…. Speaking of youth… There's enough room in this jumpsuit for tw-"

"_NO!_" roared inner Sakura and Sakura at the same time as she punched Gai out and ran. That was waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too scary. The thought was almost worse than that time when she'd walked into the men's side at the hot springs during a "senior's hour". _Just the thought of that makes my soul shrivel up and die…_

At the other end of the alleyway was the ninja school. _Maybe I can hide out there for a while… The academy students are cute, anyway._

She walked through the gate where Iruka was making some of the older ones run a small obstacle course.

"Good morning, Iruka-sensei."

"Good morning." He said with his usual smile, not taking his eyes off his students. Sakura sighed. Everything seemed to be in order here.

A moment or two went by.

"So… Do you have any plans for later today?"

Sakura's left eye began to twitch. _Not him, too!_ "Yes…" _Maybe I can just avoid this…_

"Oh…? With who?"

"Sasuke," she said, without thinking.

"You're wasting your time. Umino Iruka is the genuine article!" He grinned. "Just ask anyone!"

Sakura left in a cloud of dust. She was running so fast and not paying attention that she bumped into someone. She fell to the ground.

"Sorry!" She said, dusting the dirt from her butt as she got up.

"No, that was my fault," came his voice. She looked up and saw the bluish-lavender eyes of Byakugan. 

"Oh… Hello, Neji-san."

She began to walk away when she heard him call her. "Wait."

"Hm?" She turned around cautiously.

"Sakura-Chan, our destinies were written in the stars to be interwoven. You will go out with me on a date."

_Eeep!_ "Uh, I'd rather not. I have to go find Sasuke now…. Bye."

She began to walk away, avoiding this as much as possible. From behind her, she could hear him yelling.

"But we're destined to be together! Why is Sasuke so great, anyway? I CAN BE EMO TOO, YOU KNOW!"

She finally got far enough away to drown him out and ducked in behind some bushes.

"Phwew…. I gotta figure this out. Why is everyone hitting on me-"

And then it hit her.

The love potion.

Something had gone horribly wrong.

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Well, there you have it! The next chapter. Longer and better written, too.

More to come. There's plenty more characters, after all.


	3. Chapter 3: Stalkers

High in a tree, Sakura breathed a sigh of relief. She'd be safe there while she figured out how to change things back.

"It's all that stupid potion's fault! Maybe if I can get to Tsunade-sama's office, and check that book where I got the recipe…."

She sat there, trying to figure out the fastest rout to the Gondaime's house, when she heard a muffled "Bark!" from above her.

Lo and behold, Kiba and Akamaru jumped down from the leafy roof.

"Afternoon, Sakura!"

Akamaru barked the same greeting (or, at least we can pretend that he did).

"Uh… Hi. I was just about to leave…." She jumped down from the tree, wanting to avoid all possible hitting on.

When she landed on the ground, however, the doggie pair were already there.

"I was wondering if you would-"

"No!"

She began to walk away, but Akamaru cornered her and began humping her leg.

"Eww! Get it off!" She kicked as hard as she could and the white ball of fluff went flying.

Kiba stared in shock at Akamaru. Sakura ran.

She was halfway to her destination when she felt as if she was being watched. She slowed down and looked around, hoping not to be taken by surprise again.

A look around her revealed nothing. Suddenly, from near by, she heard laughing.

"I know you're there! What are you laughing at?!"

Silence.

Then she heard Neji's voice.

"Sakura-chan! I can see through your clothes!"

Commence perverted laughter.

She headed straight for the voice, inner Sakura near leaping out of her body with the intention of pummeling him worse than Naruto did during the chuunin exams.

She almost did, too.

Wiping her hands off, she shot a final glare at Neji and walked away. _Baka…_ She thought angrily as she walked away.

Up in the distance, she could see Naruto, this time with a pair of Akatsuki members. She could clearly hear what they were saying, although they had not spotted her yet.

"Where is Sakura?" Asked the bluish tinged one, Kisame. His partner was standing behind him, watching the whole thing.

"Why would I tell you? She's gonna go out with me, not some stupid shark." Naruto crossed his arms defiantly.

"I need to find her. You're not good enough for my little cherry blossom!"

"Shut up, soup base, or I'll call the iron chef and have a nice dinner of shark fin soup!"

Naruto stuck out his tongue at Kisame.

Kisame growled.

Itachi sighed. "I have lost what little respect I had for you. Let's just kidnap him and go."

"Not without SAKURA!"

Sakura, afraid now, backed into a doorway. She twisted the knob and went in.

"Uh, sorry for barging in… I'm hiding from some idiots that won't leave me alone."

"That's all right," came a female voice that she recognized. Sakura turned around and saw Anko. She was watering a bonsai tree.

"Thanks, Anko-san."

"It's no problem. I know what you feel like; I've had stalkers before." She laughed and put down the watering can, walking over to Sakura. "After all, now we're alone together…."

She grinned naughtily.

Sakura's eyes bulged out of her head.

"Don't tell me that it got into the women's bath, too!"

Anko stopped and blinked dumbly. "Neh? What do you mean?"

"The love potion! It's making people hit on me."

"Oh. Well, that's not why I did it."

Confused, Sakrua asked, "Well, then why?"

Anko shrugged. "Everyone else was doing it."

"I've had enough," Sakura said as she ran out the door. She'd take Kisame over the creepy, ex-snake nin any day.

Lucky for Sakura, when she was outside there was no sign of anyone else. She sneaked around the road, trying to get to the Hokage's office without being detected.

She had just about reached the door when she felt someone grab her from behind.

_Uh oh!_

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Well, there's chapter three…. I now have a list of evil for who else is gonna hit on her. Bwa ha ha….

Reviews appreciated.


	4. Chapter 4: Capture

Sakura's eyes drifted open. _What the hell? All I remember is being grabbed from behind outside the Hokage's office!_ Whatever had happened, she felt disoriented. She sat up and noted all the pink around her. She hadn't even looked at her surroundings yet, but knew that it couldn't be good.

She was lying on a bed in very skimpy clothes, covered with- you guessed it, cherry blossom petals.

"What the hell!?"

She sat up and pulled away, but her wrists were tied to the bed with ever so delicate pink silk.

She looked around the room for an escape; _What kind of sick mess have I gotten myself into?_

The light was dim, the room being lit only by scented candles. There was one door, a chair, and a small wardrobe against a wall that she could barely see the outline of.

On the chair hung a black cloak with red clouds on it.

_Akatsuki But what do they want with me? The potion shouldn't have infected them, too!_

Just then, she heard a small click of a stereo switch and soft, relaxing music was playing dimly. The door cracked open and she caught a first glimpse of whoever had kidnapped her.

He was tall and blonde, with most of the hair in the front pulled over one eye. The rest was in a ponytail. Sakura thought that he almost resembled Ino, although was more masculine. (obviously)

He was wearing a dark mesh shirt and black pants. Sakura thought she could almost see something on the palm of his hands, but wasn't sure.

"Hello, Sakura," he said as he reached the end of the bed. "So surprised to find you here, un." He looked at her suggestively.

Inner Sakura roared, "You're the one who brought me here!"

"Ooh, still feisty? But I need you to hold still; there's something I want to do with you."

"SICKO! I'M JUST A KID!" She swung her legs right at his …. Erm… most vulnerable point.

He stopped, blinking at her. "What do you mean? I, Deidara, master artist, just want to sculpt some art in your likeness, un."

She was in the process of kicking at him again when she stopped. "What? Sculpt me?"

He nodded. "Don't you appreciate art, un?"

There was a moment of silence. This was weird…. However, it might be cool to have a sculpture of herself…..

"Uh… All right, but you could have asked…"

He clapped his hands together excitedly. "Perfect! Just let me pose you for it and it will be my best work, un!"

He walked closer to Sakura and she saw what was on the palm of his hands. Large, sharp toothed mouths dripping with saliva grinned as they licked their lips on his palms.

"EWWW!"

Alarmed, Sakura swung her arm and ripped away the whole corner of the bed. It hit Deidara right in the face and he collapsed to the ground. The silk ripped and she quickly untied herself.

Before leaving, she stopped by the wardrobe. Inside, she didn't see her clothes, but she saw a cute black skirt and top that would do, so she grabbed them and slipped them on. _What was a male Akatsuki member doing with a skirt this cute?_ She wondered as she left the room.

Outside the room was a cavern-like hall. She slipped quietly along its length when she heard footsteps behind her.

"Stop!" she heard a man say. Shocked, she turned around. There was a dark haired Akatsuki member behind her. He was wearing an orange mask with only one eye hole.

"Deidara-senpai will be so pleased when I bring him his model! Tobi is such a good boy!"

"Uh…" That confused her. Maybe Sakura could trick him; he didn't seem all that bright. "No, you'd be a bad boy. I have to go home or my mother will be mad at me. And when she asks me why I'm late, I'll tell her it was because Tobi was being a bad boy!"

"No! No, Tobi's a good boy!"

He sulked away. _Well, that seemed to have worked._

She continued until she got to a dead end, and then turned around. She could hear footsteps again, and hoped it was only the dimwitted, orange-masked one. However, he wish went un-granted.

"Hello," hissed a man's voice. "Fancy meeting you here."

Orochimaru stepped out of the shadows. Sakura just about jumped right through the cavern ceiling. _Oh no! Not him, too! This makes no sense any more._

Orochimaru smiled naughtily. "You know, Sakura-chan, I can do amazing things with this tongue." It slithered out of his mouth, towards Sakura. Terrified to the point of being paralyzed, she made no attempt to hit it away. "It can touch places you didn't even know you had."

_Now I know how Sasuke feels! Creepy snake BASTARD!_

She swatted at the tongue and pounded Orochimaru a new one. However, the snake-nin just bounced back.

"Oh, you're a fun one!" He grinned as the tongue advanced. Then, out of nowhere….

"Don't lay your hands on her!"

Light burst from the ceiling as three minute forms jumped out of it.

"We're Konahamaru and crew, and we're here to take you down and save the damsel in distress!" The caped academy student motioned to his team mates. "Ready guys?"

OONG!!!

"ULTIMATE YAOI KINKSEX OF INTERSPECIES PORN-no jutsu."

—CENSORED—

The dust cleared and Orochimaru was lying in the dust, his legs literally tied in a knot. His tongue stretched out in front of him, just as lifeless and icky as a dirty band aid.

"Good job, guys..." Sakura said to the trio. _Still, I think I might need years of therapy to get over what I just saw… I actually feel sorry for Orochimaru. Those kids are torture geniuses._

Ropes descended from the hole in the roof. Konahamaru held out his hand to Sakura.

"If you would be so kind, Sakura-Hime?"

Sakura giggled. _At least the love thing is cute when children do it…_ She climbed the rope gracefully and jumped out on top. Outside, Konahamaru's tutor, Ebisu, stood guard.

"Thanks for helping me out, you guys."

"No problem," replied Ebisu. "A few others came along incase you were in trouble."

And that's when Sakura saw Sasuke in the distance.


	5. Chapter 5: Assistance needed

Sakura sprinted over to Sasuke, screaming his name. However, something seemed wrong. First of all, he seemed taller than usual… Also, there seemed to be badly covered up marks on his face. Just as she skidded to a halt in front of him, he glomped her ruthlessly.

"I just knew I'd find you here! That artsy scumbag has no decendy!"

Sakura pushed him away. That wasn't Sasuke's voice.

"You're not Sasuke!"

He paused for a moment. "Well, with that sexy brain of yours, I thought you might have figured out. But dressing up like my younger brother has its advantages!"

Sakura backed away. _Itachi!_

"So Sakura-chan, what d'you say? You, me, alone, for seventy two hours… I can make it happen." He arched an eyebrow, his eyes momentarily glowing red.

Growling in disgust, Sakura kicked him right in the…. Erm… well, let's just say that not even a Sharingan user would have seen it coming. Kicking him in the ribs once he was down, she walked back to the three children.

"Nice!" Said Moegi , the girl of the group, offering Sakura a high-five.

On the road to Konahagakure, the group stopped to take a rest and so Sakura could figure out what to do next. She had decided to tell them of her predicament, for all of them (other than Konahamaru and Udon) seemed utterly unaffected by the love potion. Konahamaru was ceaselessly calling her "Sakura-Hime" and Udon had brought her flowers, which was overall rather cute and refreshing.

Just as she was about to tell them, she saw some familiar faces walking down the road.

It was Shino and Kabuto. Sakura and her group jumped into the trees as the pair passed and overheard some of their conversation.

"….So then I used my charmander to blast him, and he was all like, BOOM." That was Shino's voice.

"Hmph, you think that's cool? Yeah right. You know that I have every single Pokemon card. Ever." That was Kabuto.

"Dream on, dr. stupid. As soon as that new set of cards comes out, I'm all over it. Then I'll get my bugs to eat your cards."

"GASP! You wouldn't!"

Just then, Sakura did the most horrible thing. She sneezed.

"What was that?!" Kabuto looked around frantically.

"I believe we're being spied on," said Shino unemotionally. Sakura began to feel little legs crawling on her…

"EEEEEW! BUGS!" She ran out of the bushes and, without thinking, hugged onto Kabuto. "MAKE THEM GO AWAY!"

Kabuto shoved Sakura off of him. Shino adjusted his glasses.

"Uh…. I mean, hi." She tried to regain her composure awkwardly.

"Sakura-san. It seems my bugs have taken a liking to you."

She turned around, and the bugs had morphed themselves into the shape of a heart, hovering around Sakura. She shuddered internally. _The bug kid, too?_ She stopped for a moment. Things were a little too normal here. _Usually, they'd both have hit on me by now…. Wait! Kabuto's a medical ninja… he probably nullified the potion already. Same with Shino because of his bugs._

"Uh… Can you two help me with something? I seem to have made an ass of myself."

"Sure."

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Well, it's been a bit of a wait, but chapter five is here! Yayness! Guess where it's going? I bet you can't!


	6. Chapter 6: Gotta catch 'em all!

Sakura snuck along the hallway, not making a noise. The two had agreed to help her as long as she repayed them a favour in advance: steal a rare pokemon card from Temari. In order to get everyone to stop hitting on her, she was willing to do it.

The sand nins were still in Konaha, each having their seperate rooms in a guest building built specifically for visiting ninjas. Sakura had almost reached the hallway which their rooms branched off of. Suddenly, she heard Konkuro's voice. She stopped, listening further, but couldn't quite hear. She got closer, eventually reaching the door.

"...Of course I'll go out with you," he said in a pseudo-girl voice. Curious, Sakura risked being seen and looked in the door.

Kankuro was sitting in the middle of the room with Crow. He'd died his puppet's hair pink and put a red dress on it.

"I love you, Sakura!" he said to the puppet.

"I love you, Kankuro!" he replied to himself in that girly voice. Then Kankuro and his puppet proceeded to make out viciously. Sakura shuddered. _That's definately the creepiest thing I've ever seen..._ Walking away as quickly- and quietly- as she could, she went to the next door.

Inside, she saw Gaara.

Nude.

He was checking himself out in a mirror and she happened to see what he was looking at: a tattoo that was now on his butt. It had his name and her name circled in a heart. He was humming something under his breath, when he all of a sudden broke out singing "what is love".

Sakura quickly backed away.

_The faster I get rid of the effects of the potion, the better. _ The next door would undoubtably be Temari's.

Sakura tip toed towards the door and peeked around the corner. Temari was indeed inside, mending a hole in her fan. It seemed roughly the size of Shikamaru's head...

Sakura saw, on the table beside Temari, what she was looking for. The card. Seeing no other way than being extremely obvious, Sakura walked in.

"Hi Temari. Just thought I'd drop by since you guys are still here."

Temari shot her a venemous look. "What d'you want?

Sakura raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean?"

"Shouldn't you be flirting with the guys that seem to be just falling over you today?"

"Oh... that. I'm trying to fix that, actually. You wouldn't believe how annoying it is with everyone flirting with you all the time."

"How are you going to do that? Run away?" Temari rolled her eyes. "How did it start, anyway?"

"Long story..." And then Sakura told her, saying that she needed the pokemon card in order to get help from the only two guys in Konahagakure who weren't hitting on her.

"Hmmm..." Temari considered this. "I really don't need it, you know. I just have it to spite them. But since it'll help stop this, sure." She handed Sakura the card. "I've really got no use for it."

"Thanks."

"Oh, and if you see Shikamaru, remind him that next time I'll hit him harder."

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Wow... that chapter sucks... XD

Oh well... I had to set up for the last few chapters, so yeah. Enjoy if you can, and I assure you that the next will be better!


	7. Chapter 7: Double trouble

It was getting late in Konaha, and Sakura was hoping that her quest to relinquish her fanboys would come soon to an end. The team she had gathered, consisting of Shino, Kabuto, Ebisu, Konahamaru, Moegi, and Udon, stood in an small alcove created by some buildings as they discussed plans.

"All right, what we need to do is not so much get the antidote, but give it to everyone." Said Kabuto. "That's the hard part."

Shino nodded. "My bugs might be able to do it."

Sakura shuddered at the idea, but nodded. "So how are we going to sneak into Tsunade-sama's office?"

Ebisu chuckled. "I believe we can provide a suitable distraction. It's not orthodox, but these three have it down."

Konahamaru smiled proudly. "We still have a problem, though."

Sakura looked at him curiously. "What?"

"Every guy we pass by is going to notice you."

"Oh. You're right." She stopped to ponder this for a moment. She made a few hand signs…..

**HENGE NO JUTSU**

In her place stood a perfect Tsunade.

"Well, what do you think? Good disguise or what?"

Kabuto gave her a small applause. "Very nice. It will even let us sneak into her office without being noticed. As long as she's distracted, that is."

Ebisu adjusted his glasses. "Don't worry; we'll make sure she's there."

Konahamaru pumped his fist in the air. "Operation love antidote is a GO!"

Sakura waited in a narrow alleyway with Kabuto behind her. Shino was going to send them a message with his bugs when the distraction was in place. It was a little weird to be in a henge of Tsunade, but it was the best plan. _I have no idea how she handles boobs this big! They're in the way!_

Soon, a small bunch of bugs flew by and landed on her, forming the word, "go".

She dismissed them and exited the alley way.

Taking a deep breath, she walked up to the door. Just as she turned the knob, Shizune came running up to her.

"Tsunade! The medical ward has gone crazy; we need you down there right away!"

_Great; just what I need! I can't spare the time._ It was just the that Kabuto came out of nowhere. "I'll go," he said.

She nodded. "He can handle it; I have something really important to attend to."

She received a sharp look from Shizune. _How would Tsunade handle this?_ "No, it's not Sake! Kabuto, handle this for me!"

She walked through the door and shut it sharply behind her. _That was close…_

Sakura made her way up to the steps when she heard someone behind her. Thinking it was Shizune again, she turned around and shouted, "Shizune, I told you that Kabuto could handle it!"

Instead of Shizune, she saw Jiraiya. A very drunk Jiraiya.

"Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeey," he said, leaning against the wall in an attempt to look cool. "You know, every book I write, it's for you" urp

_Oh, not him!_ She stared blankly as he came closer. "Get away from me!" She said, throwing a punch that did nearly as much damage as Tsunade's. Jiraiya went flying into the opposite wall.

"Hehe you're punch is almost as big as your boobs!"

_I've had enough!_ Sakura released the henge and glared at Jiraiya.

"Oh… It's you," he said, sounding dissappointed. Sakura, however, was satisfied with that.

"You're just as good, though." He grinend lecherously at her and she ran into the office as fast as she could.

"Stupid ero sennin…" she said, setting herself to finding that book again.

Her eyes glanced over the bookshelf and she spotted it quickly. As she grabbed it, she glanced out the window and saw something that made her drop the book.

Tsunade was outside, dragging a very beat up looking Konahamaru behind her.

_Oh no! She'll be in here soon!_

She looked down for the book, but couldn't see it where she had dropped it.

_This is bad!_

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**Yes, after a long wait, a new chapter! So glad you guys enjoy this! Sorry for the wait, but it took me a little while to figure out the best person for her to transform into (although it's obvious now!)**


	8. Chapter 8: Sasuke kun

Sakura looked around; there had to be somewhere to hide. She could hide under the desk... but what if Tsunade sat down in it? She probably would... This was not a good thing.

"...and Jiraiya, I don't know what you're talking about, but you're obviously very drunk."

"But I saw it!"

"Sure... Why don't you go somewhere else? I've got work to do and I really don't need you hanging around all day."

Sakura watched in horror as the knob began to turn. She was frozen in indecision, unable to move.

Suddenly, she felt someone grab her arms and yank her up through a hole in the ceiling. Dust from disturbing the ceiling panels shot up and she sneezed. A hand went in front of her mouth and a familiar, male voice shot at her, "Shhhh... she'll hear you."

Her eyes followed the arm up to its respective face and Sasuke's dark eyes greeted her. He nodded to his left and began to crawl away in the low hollow between floors. Sakura followed, leaving behind Tsunade's angry voice.

_What's Sasuke doing up here?_ She wondered. _Hmmm... Does this mean he's been affected by the potion? _She wondered this as she followed him, as the dusty panels made way to a small room. There was a beanbag chair, a peephole, and a stack of books and scrolls. Sasuke walked into it and stood up, stretching.

"You should be more careful, Sakura." he said as he dropped down onto the beanbag chair, casting her a kind smile. Sakura clambered into the small room and looked around.

"What is this?"

He shrugged. "It's where I go to hide from stalkers and stuff. Figured it'd work just as well for you as it does for me."

Sakura looked at him. So far, no hitting on her, but he was being nice. For once. She saw some light out of the corner of her eye and walked over to the wall it was coming from. There was a small hole in the wall which she peeked out of.

Outside, she could see a battered looking Ebisu leading away an even more battered group of children. She sighed to herself. _Looks like they made the distraction too hardcore..._ She turned around and opened her mouth to speak to Sasuke when she saw him standing directly behind her.

"Sa-Sasuke-kun... What are you doing?"

She pressed her back against the wall, unsure of how to respond. He smiled suggestively, leaning close, insanely close.

"Now that we're together, Sakura, we can finally do what I want." His eye gleamed with a crazy light and suddenly Sakura didn't want to know what he was thinking about. _Is Sasuke-kun really like this? _Sakura pushed him away.

"Sasuke, you're scaring me." She tried to get away, but he, being stronger than her, didn't let her move. He grabbed onto her arms and pushed her roughly to the floor.

"Sakura, now you're mine. You're what I want and I can't let you get away."

He pushed her shoulders hard against the floor and kissed her savagely.

"An Uchiha always gets what he wants."

"SASUKE!"

She squeezed her eyes shut and felt something out of reality shift, something fade, and something fall into place. She then felt someone shaking her shoulder...

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"Sakura! Sakura-chan!" That was Naruto's voice. "You guys, I think I'm going to have to do mouth to mouth!" Sakura's eyes shot open and her fist shot straight up into Naruto's face. It took her a second before she noticed that she was not in a secret hide away in the Hokage's office._ Was it a dream?_ .

"Shut up, Naruto. I'm awake." She sat up and noticed that there was quite a lot of blood around her.

"What happened?"

Kakashi's voice spoke from behind her.

"You passed out. From blood loss."

"Blood loss?"

"Yeah." Kakashi laughed. "Sasuke took off his shirt during training and you... erm... had a massive nosebleed."

Sakura got up and brushed the dirt off of her butt. She looked around Kakashi to see Sasuke standing there with his arms crossed.

Kakashi shifted as he pulled out his book. "We were all worried about you."

Sasuke threw her a kind smile. "You should be more careful, Sakura."

The only thing that team seven saw was a red and pink blur run off into the distance.

"NOT AGAIN!"

Naruto scratched his head. "What's with her?"

Sasuke shrugged.

Kakashi didn't even notice, as deeply immersed in Icha Icha as he was.

And far away, in the Hokage's office, Ino was cleaning out the bookshelf. She coughed as one particular tome shot out dust. _Wow... looks like this has been here forever._ She wiped the dust off of the cover and saw the title.

"One hundred and one love potions? Hm... This might come in handy."

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Well... That's the ending. Hope you like it and appreciate you reading it!


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